In June of this year I wrote about purpose. Specifically as it pertains to navigating the mid-20s slump.
As a graduate of the slump, and as someone going through a military transition, I am well aware of the mix of emotions you (we) go through in seeking “what’s next?” Especially as someone who is mentally preparing to move cross country (SoCal), where I know no-one, if these next few weeks go well.
But some things remain constant.
We remain steady based on a set of principles. And no matter what happens you are not your work, or that terrible relationship that just ended, or your overall fitness, but the set of deep beliefs you hold, your religion/spirituality, your culture and upbringing, your skills/competencies/interests, and other things I’m sure but not thinking of right now.
So we’ll initiate this with an Ayn Rand quote:
“Never ask people. Not about your work. Don't you know what you want? How can you stand it, not to know?” - The Fountainhead
and corollary:
“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone” - Naval
and of course my favorite clip on Earth:
Alright, that’s enough motivational woo-woo.
Because the entire purpose of this post on purpose is the opposite of motivation. It’s to help you understand the deep intrinsic goal you have for your life. It’s been said that writers think too much and writing helps them think less. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a writer, but the act of writing MASSIVELY helps in that regard. So in writing this for you, I write this for myself.
We’ll start with Ayn Rand.
When I revisit that quote I read it as
“DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?!”
When you ask others you invite their bias, their beliefs, their DOUBTS, into your world. Should I move to California? “But it’s sooo expensive”. Yea, but have you looked on Zillow for homes in Northern Virginia? There’s no difference.
There’s a dissonance in that person’s belief system. I usually just smile and nod - they don’t even realize we live in NoVa and they can’t even afford a home here - so who’s to say what “expensive” is.
The above is an example. I share my plans with someone else - and it invites their fears about them. And why should someone else’s fears be my fears when I know exactly what I want.
That may be the root of the problem for many, however.
Do you even know what you want?
Rand continues
“How can you stand it, not to know?”
It must be painful, living in limbo is the most painful position. The act of not acting. Are you really going to make me quote Yoda? Do or do not…
So we move to Naval - it’s almost certain his stance was built on the shoulders of the original quote - or at least on writing/thoughts built on the shoulders of the original quote.
If you ask everyone, you will most certainly make the wrong decision. It’s one thing to ask for a common-sense check. Or to ask a mentor his or her opinion when they are not self-interested, and truly want to help.
The hardest part of losing a dad is not having someone to bounce ideas off of when you’re indecisive - a non-self interested party who also understands your core beliefs, goals, and worries. But on the other side - it is freeing. I don’t need to impress anyone. I can seek any goal without the judgement of the father (although the Father will judge).
It is a WHOLE other thing to just blab to everyone what you’re thinking about doing. You will without doubt recruit the fears and doubts of others, and with it horrific advice that is merely a reflection of their own belief system.
So we move to the French poet Charles Baudelaire:
“No task is a long one but the task on which one dare not start. It becomes a nightmare.” - My Heart Laid Bare
WE must ACT.
We must read, continue to train, continue to learn, and keep momentum. The nightmare is limbo. The act of watching your life pass by. Of course we’re going to relate this back to health + fitness because so much hinges upon this. Although I said above you are not your current fitness - being fit makes everything much easier. First impressions matter, being jacked matters, and I’d rather not be the fat slob when I ACT. You will meet people and they will notice.
Additionally, your fitness is a convenient base to hang your confidence on. No, not being fit doesn’t mean your happiness should hinge on it - but show me one person who became LESS confident from finally being able to see their abs.
Getting fit also builds the discipline to act in the exact same way that’s required for all other decisions. You have to set a goal, attack it ruthlessly for years, and only see a tiny amount of progress after months of effort. The reward and feedback cycle is slow. You have to TRUST that the seemingly small decisions you made up front will carry you to the end. Of course you must also be able to adapt throughout the process. But the process is the same - accept the position you are currently in, recognize what the end goal is - and work until you get there. I don’t derive purpose from being fit and chasing improvement. But it does A LOT of good in keeping me chasing my goals outside of fitness. Made the connection yet?
So this leaves us with the elephant of “how do I know what to do?”
Well for starters you should be using the ag app. Macros and meal plans are LIVE. 8 full programs in the app. And I’m building out CUSTOM programs as well, built on the base of all AG training.
You need to be actively pursuing a fitness goal. This year has taught me there is no such thing as maintenance. You are either falling back or getting better. If you just maintain, you will get softer. I hate to sound motivational here but you must apply MAX EFFORT everywhere. And that’s why fitness is great. That’s why high school and college sports are great. They are the foundations for so many other aspects we will come across.
Now that you’re training. You should probably stop asking and read and write more. Clarify your thoughts and learn. That’s not to say don’t meet people - that is one of the greatest cheat codes to learning. Other perspectives are amazing, and gaining insights into organizations is best done by actually TALKING to the people in them. But instead of asking “muhh what do I do” you go in with a plan. Here’s where I want to be, how can I learn from this person how they got there, and what do I need to adapt that’s specific to my situation? I’ll give you a hint - a lot of it still hinges on relationships. And guess what helps the first impression of starting a relationship? That’s right. Excellent health. Glowing skin. A warm, calm, smile (from slaying yourself in a METCON 2 hours earlier). This also feeds a funny conversation I had earlier. SIGMA GRINDSET is a lie. You should probably delete tiktok. You aren’t a sigma because you broke up with your girlfriend to grind harder. If anything, that makes you a beta because who can’t balance hard work with a loving relationship? I wouldn't plan for anything relationship wise - and that is both professional and romantic relationships, and friendships. If it happens it happens. I would not put yourself in the headspace of "I don't want a relationship". At the end of the day is it really that different from a business connection? Would you not meet someone for coffee if you wanted to learn / grow from that contact? Then why (if the opportunity comes up) would you not introduce yourself to a girl. It's not "no relationships sigma grindset" it's you are on your path and if someone comes along even better.
That was a tangent.
Anyway.
Train hard. Figure out what you want. Read more, stop asking so much. And subscribe to AG Studio.
Don’t be a loser. And happy Wednesday.
DISCLAIMER
This is not Legal, Medical, or Financial advice. Please consult a medical professional before starting any workout program, diet plan, or supplement protocol.
That one quote "No task is a long one but the task on which one dare not start..." Hit hard.
these blogs always hit. ready to run through a wall.